| It’s been sometime… Indeed. To those who still bother visiting, good for u as ur patience has finally paid off wtf. As much as I would like to avoid blogging altogether (esp abt my personal well-being), I really cant help but to air my dirty laundry tonite wtf. My emotions are piling, my body is wearying, and my heart is... aching. In short, imma combust!! I’m in dire need of a channel for these bottled emotions and pent up frustrations!! And no, going to bed and sleeping em off is NOT a solution! So, what have been keeping me occupied the past few months? You ask. Studies, work, assignments, exams, studies and more work. You get the drift. -__- Year 2008 ended just like that without me even realizing it. Festive seasons came and went without allowing me a chance to immerse in the merry atmosphere they brought. Last Christmas eve, I spent the day working, and the night nursing a runny nose. Fast forward a week later, I spent my entire new year’s eve slogging away at work, could have even catch an amazing view of fireworks due to the strategic location of my office if I had spent another hour or so at work wtf. Almost got called back to work on new year's day too WTF, but luckily my colleage went on my bahalf. -___- Still, I did not regret taking up the job, although I really don’t know if it was worth it to sacrifice so much just for a better looking resume. Overall, 2008 started and ended pretty well for me. Nothing major happened (or so I'd like to think as I don’t remember anything big affecting me throughout the year), be it positively or negatively. With almost all my close friends being away overseas, I spent most of the entire year leading life alone, which granted me the time needed for self-reflection, self-discovery, personal improvement and whatnots. In 2008, I thought I found love, but turned out it wasn’t. Just as I thought another ordinary year was about to end, someone significant came into my life under the most unexpected circumstance, and I reckon, that was love :) although forbidden. Coz he’s married with 2 kids wtf. Moving on to 2009, the new year started in the best possible way for me than I could have ever imagined :) Bangkok was fantastic!! Then, Chinese New Year came and went by too, and so did Valentine’s. The former was enjoyable, although it could have been alot better if something unpleasant didn’t happen. As for the latter…. Hmmmm, it was a surprising day, in both good and bad ways :) Sometimes… just sometimes, I really wish I could be less rational and less of an idealist, although deep down, I know I can’t, and won’t want to either. I wish I could just forget about pride and ego, forget about the possible unfavorable outcomes, the million what ifs, and put away the thoughts of lies, betrayals, empty promises… or just anything negative along those lines. Then, maybe, I would be a happier person with you by my side, like how it all used to be. I know time is what and all I need. It’s not like I have not done it before, I know I am capable of moving on, but as cliché as it may sound, I’m only human, and a vulnerable one at it. It doesn’t help either when almost everything I see, reminds me of you. I see a Benz on the road (hell, why is there so many ppl driving Benz nowadays?!), I think of you, I see someone’s name similar to yours, I think of you (thanks for having such common names, both English and Chinese wtf), when the radio plays nanana, I think of you, when I see pics of your dogs in my song folder, I see YOUR face instead of your dogs’ WTF. Banana Republic, Bubba Gump, Body Shop, Thomas Pink, Tropicana City, TTDI, Godiva, Mylo and Jade, Hitz fm wtf, bean curd sushi, Watson’s dental floss wtf, Standard Charted wtf, Duck King wtf wtf, Davidoff, LDP, San Fran Steakhouse, iPhone, Clinique, Sylphy, Jaya One, wantan mee, banana split, the songs I used to listen while talking to you, TGV Sunway, diet coke………………… and everything, reminds me of you, just you, ONLY YOU. I….. really miss you. Looking back at the pics taken in Bangkok, reminiscing the times brings back heaps of memories as it was then, I realized I was after all, in love. For real. :) There was never a single second I had you off my mind in Bangkok. The ride home from the airport was the best. ride. ever. for me in a very long time. Although I grizzled when you held my hand, but deep down, I secretly wished that moment could last forever, just the two of us, at such close proximity, cherishing each other’s presence. I miss you, and I want you. Yet, close friends and my conscience tell me I deserve better. The emotional part of me wants to just make up, and forget who’s right and who’s wrong. Yet, my practical and rational mind can’t stop reminding me how you have disappointed me, how you did not even care to explain yourself and worse, how you did not even apologise. Sometimes I wonder why is my love life so jinxed wtf. The ones I don’t have feelings for, loved me, the ones I loved, all turned their backs on me (as creeeeepy as it may sound, i just realised guys who have somewhat disappointed me all share the same first letter for their names, both first and last names WTF). I just hope this isn’t karma wtf. And I sure hope I could still trust the male species, as hard as it may seem. As of writing this paragraph, I’ve again, re-learned the art of moving on. Of course, once in a while, when I see or hear something familiar, and especially during quiet nights like these… the memories still linger, not in an agonizing way, but in a happy, yet sappy manner. :) Ahhhhhhhhhh…. All is the past. :) Tomorrow will be a good day. Next month will be a good month. 2009 will be a good year, I sincerely hope. :) 130309 1724, staring blankly at my screen, looking at your new display pic on msn... I'm still thinking of you.Where was the picture taken? Who took it? What are you doing now? What will you be doing later? I can only wonder... |
i aint no drama queen but wasnt that obvious enough an exaggeration? lol.
furthermore, married with kids?! do i really have to??? 
